Depending on the nature of the person I’m getting out of their leading role, different types of leading will be needed.
Coercion – This is a bit like a carrot on a stick and whip behind at the same time. Its value comes in when a sub is clear on what they want and where they’re going, but brought me in because they can’t seem to get there.
When some reaches experiences that had been out of their reach for some time it can be an ecstatic time for them. After such an incredibly liberating experience, discussing the event can be necessary to help them remember how it was at the time.
Direction – As someone begins to let go of constantly being in charge, directions can be a very welcome change in the way they orientate themselves. Especially as over time they learn to realise that I have been paying attention to them and know what they like better than they do.
Being given clear and simple directions that, following, often results in something you like…
Domination – I wrote an article on this which won’t be published online. In short, domination happens periodically to return you to a state of availability to other types of direction. Although there are a range of things and behaviours domination could provide value too, the one’s that you’re open to work with need to be agreed over time to provide any opportunity for you to develop and take value onboard.
Here the point is that you will likely experience a range of these in a session and over time. If they follow on from the proper pre requisite work then they will work together to lead you towards somewhere you deeply long for.
Chris SU
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