This is for first timers and beginners. Experienced kinksters, this article isn’t for you.
It is one of the most common dilemmas that I find men in and one I’ve certainly related to. The challenge of not knowing whether you’re gay, bi or straight is broadly as jarring as trying to prove the one you’ve chosen, at least in part by dissproving the other(s).
One of the main obstacles a man (or woman) may have, to attending a professional dominant, is not knowing if they are gay enough. It;s a never ending dilemma because of the wide range of reasons someone might have to desire a ‘dominant’ at a particular time.
I’ll list some of the possible reasons for you as the reader so you can get a feel for how some of your ‘complimentary’ desires, may be causing a dilemma.
– I’m always in charge, I want someone else to be in charge for a while.
– During my porn exploration, I come to gay domainant porn from time to time, and it affects me differently
– I feel straight but how could a woman make me feel as small as I want to feel? (side note; very talented, skilled, well training femdoms can do this without overusing brutish degration to achieve it. But you need to know where to look, and what to ask.)
– I feel more comfortable with men, and I feel more sexual when I feel like that.
– Lots of people take it in the ass ad it looks amazing, I have an ass… I wonder if I could get that horny too
– I want to serve someone
– I want to be degrated and humiliated in a way that I believe only a guy (or woman) could do to me
– I need something new, I know there’s more to sex, I’m nervous, there seems to be barriers to entry, and I don’t know how or where to begin.
If you’re experiencing two or more of these I’m sure you can see how one might move you towards exploration then a few moments later another has you closing your laptop and going for a cold shower.
What to do?
Contact a professional who has some online coherance (i.e. their various pages have something in common).
Be honest, and remember to explain the differenece between what you ‘think’ you want and your actual experience so far.
Make a clear appointment at a time you have control of the freedom over.
How to relate to the session?
Don’t go in with expectations of porn star anal horniness on your first date. Notice when you experience even small tiny amounts of horniness during something you haven’t explored before.
Share with the dom your memory of the session as you may need some reminding of times when you were horninest.
Plan your next exploration, with the same or another ‘dominant’.
The unexpectadly horny times are far better guides than the undesireable uncomfortable tiimes for shapy a horny exploration (although your memory may do the exact opposite, thats why the relate to my session tips are for the end and immediately after the session). If you follow these tips you’re going to open your eyesto a world of real life sexual exploration, which in my life has been worth the investment.